6 non-fiction books that changed my life

Throughout my life I have read plenty of non-fiction books that changed the way I think about everything. Most of them are based on scientific research, although many ideas are just theories in need for more testing. Your parents, teachers, friends and even politicians taught you many false beliefs. By changing them to something more scientific, you will experience much less cognitive dissonance, which is the mental stress you experience when reality doesn't match your beliefs. Your mind will be more at peace.

The effects of my reading so far have been far-reaching:

• Reading a blog about financial freedom helped me cope with my health diagnosis.
• Being honest and vulnerable is great not only for your personal life, but your professional life as well. For example, your colleagues will respect you more if you don't hesitate to admit a mistake.
• Reading economic theories made me adjust my moral values and philosophy; see for example this blog post.

I'm not saying that these books contain the ultimate answers, but by reading them I have become slightly less wrong about everything.

Every step of the way I was wrong. About everything. All throughout my life, I was flat-out wrong about myself, others, society, culture, the world, the universe, everything. And I hope that will continue to be the case for the rest of my life.
...
There's that famous Michael Jordan quote about failing over and over and over again, and that’s why he succeeds. Well, I am always wrong about everything, and that's why my life improves.

Mark Manson in Why I’m Wrong About Everything (And So Are You)

If you are a fan of political correctness, many of these books will disappoint you. Reality doesn't care about offending someone; reality just is. For each book I tried to list one idea that stuck with me the most from the book.

The Happiness Hypothesis: Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom, by Jonathan Haidt

This is my number one book that I have read about 5 times over the years. Whenever I'm facing a big decision like choosing a place to live or a job, I consult the book to see how it will affect my happiness. Happiness comes mostly from other people and if you want to be happier by means of money, buy experiences, spend it on others or don't spend it.

The book looks at different philosophies through the lens of science and how they affect happiness. It turns out that a large part of the Greek or Buddhist philosophies survived scientific tests. The book also tells a lot of fascinating results in psychology, not necessarily related to happiness.

One idea: Suppose there are two people, one has just won one million dollars in lottery and the other has just become quadriplegic, so he can't move from his neck down. Who will be happier one year from now? Surprisingly, they will be on about the same level. Our minds are very adaptive and they get used to new situations quickly.

Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, by Mark Manson

Even though this is a book about women, it had big effect on other aspects of my life as well. If you ignore the parts specifically about women, it reads as an excellent lifestyle guide. Better relationships and friendships are then by-products of improved lifestyle and behaviour and they seem almost effortless. The book also taught me how to be more assertive, expressive and confident.

A large part of the book is devoted to vulnerability and honesty which are two necessary qualities for stable relationships. Being vulnerable doesn't mean showing weakness, it signals inner strength and is therefore very manly (here is an excerpt of the book about vulnerability).

One idea: Polarization – don't be afraid to admit that you have listened to Britney Spears' song Toxic more times than appropriate 10 minutes into a conversation (alright, alright, that's me!). This will push away some people very quickly, but you will also find the ones you like quicker.

P.S. Mark Manson has an awesome blog (gender-neutral these days), where he writes about everything life-related often backed up by research in psychology. He's the guy I cited in the beginning of this post.

Financial Freedom through Badassity, by Mr Money Mustache

I'm cheating a bit here, since this is not a book but a blog. Before reading it, I used to save about 20% of my income but now it's up to 50% even with a lot of travelling. And if you save 50%, you can retire in 17 years. You will also become happier by spending less and saving more. Retiring early doesn't mean that you stop working, you can work for less or for free (volunteering).

If you are interested in how it can be done, go to the "start here" menu item or read my favourite post.

One idea: Nothing beats the stock market when it comes to long term returns. Stock market is volatile and sometimes you gain 0% in 10 years, but over 25-30 years the yields are better than for any other form of investment.

Is there anything good about men?: How Cultures Flourish by Exploiting Men, by Roy Baumeister

After reading this book I understand myself and other men much better. It explains why evolution made us behave the way we do. The book also debunks most of the myths that modern (third-wave) feminism is built on.

There are two main differences between the two genders: nature rolls the dice more with men and different genders have different motivations. For example, men and women have similar IQ on average, but men are overrepresented among people with high IQ as well as among people with low IQ. Men also have different motivations, like willingness to take big risks. Cultures have been exploiting this – big risks often led to great results but many men have died while taking risks, or became very poor and homeless.

One idea: I used to think that women are more social than men. If being social is good, why hasn't evolution made men as social as women? Evolution actually did make men social but in a different sense. Women prefer few intimate one-on-one relationships while men prefer plenty of shallow relationships.

P.S. You can read an invited address that Baumeister gave at a meeting of the American Psychological Association. The book expands on the topics in the talk.

Capitalism and Freedom, by Milton Friedman

I like to think about capitalism using a sharp knife metaphor. So far we haven't found a better tool for cutting food than knives. Their greatest strength, sharpness, can also lead to injuries. This book talks about why capitalism is a sharp tool and how to avoid injuries. It is very old and economics has made a lot of progress since then, but I still like it a lot for how it changed my world view and moral values.

Capitalism and high levels of freedom don't mean that there is no welfare. The Economist recently wrote: "When it comes to choice, Milton Friedman would be more at home in Stockholm than in Washington, DC." Historically, Sweden has been very free and capitalist. Milton Friedman was also a proponent of negative income tax, a very simple welfare program that is more efficient than what most countries have now.

One idea: Government should be organized on multiple levels. If possible, a government function should be done at the lowest level. It's easier for you to influence a local politician and if you don't like it, you can move 10 km to another town. Things that require a lot of coordination or are inefficient on a local level, like the military or taxing pollution, need to be done at the highest levels.

P.S. Milton Friedman has brilliant rhetoric skills. Even if you don't like freedom or capitalism, I suggest watching some of his videos on YouTube.

Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions, by Dan Ariely

This book saved me a lot of money. It explains many of the psychological tricks that marketers are trying to play on us. Stay cautious every time you see the word free or there are too many options given to you.

Experiences are affected by our expectations. A fancy meal eaten in McDonald's will appear tasteless while the same meal eaten in a fancy restaurant will appear excellent. Similar thing is true for many things ranging from music to pills, so you can improve your perception by increasing your expectations.

One idea: Sellers are trying to trick you by having expensive items that no one buys. Suppose a restaurant has meals costing between 10 to 20 euros. Now suppose they add a couple of meals that cost 30 euros. Nobody will ever order those, but people will spend more now than before.

Other great books

The following books were not that life-changing but they are still great. Perhaps they would be life-changing if I read them 5 years earlier.

• Survival of the Sickest: The Surprising Connections Between Disease and Longevity, by Sharon Moalem – Sometimes a sickness might help you survive. Fascinating journey into medicine, biology, genetics and epigenetics.
• The Naked Ape: A Zoologist's Study of the Human Animal, by Desmond Morris – Even though we think of human species as superior to everything else, underneath everything are we still animals.
• She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman, by Ian Kerner – A guide to giving oral sex with a great introduction to woman's anatomy.
• Art of Manliness (a blog) – If you are confused what a man should do in 21st century, this blog has plenty of good suggestions.
• Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, by Daniel H. Pink – I never thought that motivation would be so tricky.
• Simplify: 7 Guiding Principles to Help Anyone Declutter Their Home and Life, by Joshua Becker – Simplify your life by getting rid of the nonessential stuff, activities and even people.
• Understanding Comics: The Invisible Art, by Scott McCloud – Fascinating analysis of how comics is drawn and written.
• Staying Alive in Avalanche Terrain, by Bruce Tremper – Probably the best educational book I have ever used. It has a great mix of theory, interesting stories and pictures.
• A Random Walk Down Wall Street: The Time-Tested Strategy for Successful Investing, by Burton G. Malkiel – A very long book about a very simple investing strategy.
• Proofs from THE BOOK, by Martin Aigner, Günter M. Ziegler, Karl H. Hofmann – Only the coolest mathematical proofs.
• Armchair Economist: Economics & Everyday Life, by Steven E. Landsburg – Everyday life situations analysed by an economist.
• Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work, Home, and School, by John Medina – Presenting recent advances in neuroscience in an easy way.
• The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, by Charles Duhigg – How habits are formed and how to get rid of the bad ones.
• Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, by Susan Cain – Why introverts exist and why they are not inferior to extroverts, they are just different.
• Thinking, Fast and Slow, by Daniel Kahneman – About two systems in our minds working at different speeds.

Why Slovakia and Sweden are two superwealthy countries

According to Wikipedia, "at the most general level, economists may define wealth as anything of value". But what is value?

People mistake price for value. Why would you do that, if you don't plan to sell your stuff? I paid a lot for my skiing and mountaineering equipment, but I would be willing to pay 5 times as much, since it had brought so much fun to my life. And I would feel even more wealthy, if I lived closer to mountains and could use it more often.

Most of my skiing and mountaineering equipment on one pile

On the other hand, I wouldn't pay even 1/10 of the price of some other things, because they have very little value to me. Diamonds are a good example: I have seen more beautiful stones in nature and they are overpriced anyway, thanks to a cartel and heavy marketing.

We also value things that don't have a price attached to them, like friends and family. It's impossible to sell a friendship, yet we benefit a lot from it.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. – William Bruce Cameron

If you ask me which countries are superwealthy, I might say 30% of them. The world is a great place right now:

• Global poverty has been decreasing faster than ever. In 1950, the average American household spent 30% of its budget on food while it's only 13% now (I suspect similar progress in the rest of the world, too).
• The world is most probably the safest it has ever been. Even with the two world wars, the 20th century was mostly likely the most peaceful century so far. If you were a man in a hunter-gatherer society more than 10 000 years ago, you had about 25% chance of being killed by someone else. This number has been estimated to be at most 3% in the 20th century and it will mostly likely be lower in the 21st century.
• We live longer and we almost eradicated some diseases through vaccination at some places.
• Societies around the world are more tolerant and free. A few centuries ago you were stuck in the same social class as your parents. In the 1950's in the US, black people were still subject to heavy discrimination. If you lived in the communist block in 1989, you could not travel out of your country freely.

With so much prosperity and development, it's surprising to me that we keep consuming and working so much. One measure that is not getting better, is happiness and a contributing factor is materialism.

I hope everybody could get rich and famous and will have everything they ever dreamed of, so they will know that it's not the answer. – Jim Carrey

We also keep hearing that we need consumption to keep the economy going, but this is one of the most common economic fallacies. Mr. Money Mustache wrote a great explanation of it in What if Everyone Became Frugal?. The world gets richer by saving, not by consuming.

Slovakia and Sweden are two countries where I have been living permanently, so I know them pretty well. Here are a few reasons why they are superwealthy in my opinion and it has little to do with material wealth.

System for talented students, a point for Slovakia

TopCoder is an American company organizing regular programming competitions. Each person has a rating, similar to the one used in chess or tennis. If you have rating above 2200, you reach red color, which is a status that only about 300 people on Earth have at one time. A couple of years ago, someone made a ranking of countries by the number of red programmers per capita and Slovakia was first. I don't think this is a coincidence.

Slovakia has a great system for talented high schoolers in many scientific disciplines. This tradition started already when Slovakia was part of the Austrio-Hungarian Empire. In the historical rankings of International Mathematics Olympiad, Hungary is number 4 and in International Olympiad in Informatics, Slovakia is number 7. Both countries are very small compared to other countries in top 10 (Russia, China and USA are dominating both).

This system is so great that I decided to contribute 1% of my income forever to Trojsten (thanks Kubo for inspiration). Trojsten is a foundation that organizes competitions and training camps in math, programming and physics for high schoolers. When I was at university, I helped running it, giving back what I got when I was in high school.

Additionally, my alma mater, Comenius University, was very good. Sometimes the talented Swedish high schoolers ask me for school recommendations and I half-jokingly recommend Comenius even before MIT or Oxford. At Comenius you are not swamped with homeworks and projects, so you have plenty of time to do other things, like volunteering or part-time work. Even though the course load was low, we still learned a lot from the courses.

Psychologists claim that children these days spend too much time in organized activites and play too little, leading to underdeveloped social skills and creativity. I think there is too little play even among university students. Some of them spend a lot of time in classroom, while they could be doing something else, learning valuable skills that can't be learned while sitting in the classroom. When we organized our week-long training camps, there was often noone older supervising us. This was our way of playing and we had a lot of fun doing that. In many ways, what I learned there is now more valuable than my formal university education.

As you can see, if you are a talented student in Slovakia, you have plenty of opportunities for development, but unfortunately such system for talents doesn't work in Sweden. For example, the Swedish programming olympiad gets only very little money from the state (33% of my income taxes last year).

I have been told that the reason is the famous Swedish striving for equality. As is often the case, the Swedes get the equality wrong: since we are all equal, there are no talents. Contrary to this statement, the Swedish state supports sports and young talented sportsmen with a lot of money. I have been competing at international level in both sports and programming/math and I think there is very little difference between the two. Talent is very important but you also need to train a lot, you need a good coach and a community of other competitors to stay motivated.

At KTH Royal Institute of Technology in Stockholm, there is such a community for university students with coaches supported by the university. A couple of years ago I invited few high school students living in Stockholm to our trainings at KTH. These students are so talented and hard-working, that they already won the Nordic Championships in programming, beating all university students in Scandinavia, while still being in high school.

Ironically, the Swedish equality ideal only leads to inequality of opportunities. If you are a talented high school student living in Stockholm, you are lucky and can get great coaching and meet other talented programmers. We want to improve this by organizing a training camp where students from the rest of Sweden could come, but getting money for it is hard.

Level of trust, a point for Sweden

Last fall I spent a couple of weeks in Berkeley and one weekend we decided to go to Yosemite. We booked a car and the rental company was supposed to pick us up and drive us to the rental station on the other side of town. They were late, so I called them twice and they promised the car would be there soon. The car didn't arrive, so I called again and it turned out that they were lying to me, the car was not on the way and we had to take a bus instead.

How could anyone lie to me like that? Then I realized that I have been in Sweden for too long. In Scandinavia people don't lie that much and there is little corruption, which leads to trust in strangers and public institutions. Scandinavian countries top the list of countries by the level of trust.

When people don't lie, steal and corrupt, there are very few lawsuits, they don't have to install expensive protection in their houses and the government is more efficient. In the end people are more productive and can work less than in countries with lower trust. Such countries are in fact richer even with a slightly lower GDP.

Slovakia is far behind in this regard but things are improving. During communism corruption was often the only way to get things done, but the number of people giving bribes has been steadily declining for a while.

Nature, points for both

Both countries have amazing nature. Here are two photos made by me for illustration.

My friend Martin and Tatras, the highest Slovak mountain range.

Frozen lake in Tyresta national park. In winter a ski track is prepared on the lake.

Nature has many benefits even though we don't have to pay for using it. You can have a week long camping vacation in the mountains for free, provided you have the right equipment. Such a holiday would be more fun for me than a lazy week on the beach that costs a lot. Spending time outdoors in nature also has many measurable benefits, like improved mood and concentration.

Conclusion

This was a highly subjective list but as I said earlier, each person can define wealth in their own way. For example, the value of the Trojsten community is that it gave me many great memories and valuable friendships. I'm excited to meet many of them in a couple of days in Italy.

Ski touring in Silvretta

Another trip proved that ski touring is the most fun sport ever invented.

Thursday

Our plan for Thursday was to go to Chammona Tuoi hut first and maybe do some light skiing afterwards. The plan quickly changed after Martins hyperglycemia, so we took a rest at the hut but we did some avalanche rescue training after dinner.

Friday

On Friday, we climbed Hintere Jamspitze (3156 m) without trouble in great weather with awesome views.

Great view

On the way down I made one of my best ski runs ever on an untouched steep slope (about 36 to 38 degrees). The snow was getting wet and heavy and I fell in the middle of it, but it was pure joy and I had to shout at the whole valley when it was over.

You can see the place where I fell

Even though we were taking it easy today, we were already at the hut at 1 pm and just relaxed before the big trip the next day.

Saturday

We woke up at 5 am to get an early start. I made a mistake of not looking into the map for 2 hours and just followed the main ski track on the La Cudera glacier. We crossed the wrong saddle and ended up under a peak we didn't plan to climb – Silvrettahorn (3244 m). In the end it turned out to be a very lucky mistake! We wouldn't be able to climb Piz Buin (3312 m) with our equipment anyway; our plan was to climb as far as possible and for Silvrettahorn we only needed an ice axe and crampons. The view was breathtaking.

Piz Buin (3312 m) and Ochsentaler Gletscher

Piz Linard (3410 m)

The return back to the hut was a bit too long and annoying, especially with the wind blowing snow on our faces on the glacier. At least the last meters were a very enjoyable downhill ride. After returning back to the hut, I learned some useful facts about Kussmaul breathing which you get during diabetic ketoacidosis. Luckily Martin didn't die in the end, so we survived another great trip in the mountains!

As usual, a selection of my photos is on Flickr and an album merged from 2 cameras is on Google Photos (with David Hasselhoff).

How to shuffle songs? – A blog post I wrote for Spotify

I improved Spotify's shuffling algorithm and wrote a blog post about it. Enjoy!

Square Hot Dog Day

On February 21, 2009 I created a square hot dog. Exactly 5 years have passed, so I would like February 21 to become Square Hot Dog Day from now on. It's going to be a thing. Feel free to join millions of people on Earth making this delicious meal tomorrow. The recipe is straightforward, just look at the photo. Vegetarians and vegans are also welcome with their soy wieners. I won't join you, since sausages contain too much histamine, but I wish you all the best!

Sorry for the bad photo quality

By the way, February 21 is already "International Mother Language Day", but I think we can celebrate two things, since one year only has 365 days and there are too many good things (like a square hot dog).

Ski mountaineering in Žiarska dolina

Every year around New Year me and my friends go to the mountains. This time me, Martin and Kolo chose Žiarska dolina in West Tatras in Slovakia. The weather before our trip was very hot and most of the snow disappeared from the mountains. As we approached Tatras and saw the grassy slopes, I became quite sceptical about the conditions, but in the end it turned out to be one of my best ski touring trips.

Sunday

We first went to Smutné sedlo (1965 m, sad saddle in Slovak), to do an easy ride and check the snow conditions. The ascent was icy and Martin had some trouble, since he didn't have ski crampons. We had to wait for him and Kolo used this opportunity to make two rides from the saddle.

Since the weather was great and the snow was okay in the upper parts, we decided to go to Hrubá kopa (2166 m). The ascent was very steep and again, Martin was a bit slower, because he didn't have an ice axe but Kolo created nice snow stairs for him and me.

Climbing the chute using stairs in the snow. We skied down the same way.

Western view with Baníkov (2178 m)

The descent has been my hardest ride ever. I had ice on my binding and it released once in the beginning because of that. I carefully cleaned it but after that I wasn't confident enough to do quick turns down the steep 40-degree chute on hard packed snow. A small mistake and released binding would send me onto the surrounding rocks.

The sky turned orange after we skied the chute.

Monday

We decided on an easy trip to Žiarske sedlo (1917 m), since we didn't see snow elsewhere. While approaching, we saw that the nearby peak Plačlivô (2125 m) was completely covered in white and looked easy to ski. Martin was afraid of getting hypoglycemia, so he staid in the saddle and took awesome pictures, while me and Kolo went up. We had breathtaking views from the top and there was almost no wind, a perfect day in the mountains!

Kolo and me climbing up with ice axes. We skied the same line.

Sea of clouds with Kráľová hoľa in the background

The ride was less steep than the previous day and the snow much better. As a bonus, we had the whole mountain and surrounding valley only for ourselves. Žiarska dolina is full of great ski lines, so we have to return some day.

Small selection of my photos is on Flickr and an album merged from 3 cameras is on Google Photos.

Crisis of men

A severe crisis of men has been happening in the last 3 decades and perhaps even longer. You probably don't know what I'm talking about and are as surprised as I was 2 years ago when I first heard about it. Psychologists and sociologists write books about it but nobody else seems to care. There is plenty of publicity on breast cancer, abortions, unrealistic beauty standards for women but very rarely you hear about men's problems. Don't get me wrong, women's problems are important and we should talk about them, but why is everyone ignoring problems of half of our population? Aren't we striving for gender equality?

Symptoms of the crisis include

• rising levels of depression, social anxiety and addictions among men
• men's unemployment has worse tendencies than women's
• men feel lack of life purpose
• average testosterone levels are 20% lower than they used to be 20 years ago
• men are dropping out of college more than before
• more and more women are asking "Where are all the men? I only meet boys."

Causes

What is the cause of all this? It's probably several things and different people have different opinions.

Some people blame addictions to drugs and arousal addictions (video games, porn, internet). This is a worse problem for men, since men's brains are more prone to addictions. Have the drugs, video games and porn got more addictive in the recent years? Maybe.

Other people blame technology. Men used to do most of the manual work but now it's done by machines, so many men lost their jobs and feel not needed anymore.

It might also be the testosterone dip. However, this is a typical correlation versus causation case and it's hard to see what comes first.

• Maybe the testosteron dip is the effect of the crisis and not the cause. After all, low testosterone can be caused by stress, lack of sleep and exercise.
• Maybe there are some toxins in the air, water and food that cause low testosterone levels. We also move less, eat bad stuff, sleep too little and that has bad effects. Lower testosterone levels cause depression, decrease focus, lower confidence, so they could actually lead to the crisis.

Create more, consume less

Boys used to become men by getting a job and providing for their families. This is not good enough anymore, since families can now function without large contributions from men. These men lack life purpose and often turn to consumption which can lead to addictions.

A woman simply is, but a man must become. Masculinity is risky and elusive. It is achieved by a revolt from woman, and it is confirmed only by other men. – Camille Paglia

One of the proposed solutions I really like is to create more and consume less:

• Instead of watching football on TV, organize a game every weekend with your friends.
• Instead of buying fast food on your way home, cook dinner for you and your friends.
• Instead of playing video games, create one.
• Instead of paying someone else for your vacation, plan your own road trip.
• Instead of complaining about your employer, start your own company.

Culture(s) at fault

It has been an evolutionary advantage for men not to show emotions in front of their enemies and competitors. However, we still have emotions and I think we are perfectly capable of expressing them to the people closest to us. We were told that "men don't cry" but I think that is too simplistic and harmful. I would change it to "men don't cry before strangers".

Some cultures have a tradition of shaming which is also harmful. Suppose a guy asks a girl out but gets rejected. A typical response of his friend is "What did you think, she's way out of your league!?". This is true especially in the Western world, but less so in Slovakia for example. Try saying "I know how you feel, let me buy you a drink" instead. And if your friend's company goes bankrupt, say "That sucks" instead of "Your business idea was stupid".

Apparently failure is considered a bad thing but in reality it's necessary for progress.

Here's an unavoidable truth: You are going to screw up. Everyone – including very successful people – makes boatloads of mistakes. The key to success is, as everyone knows, to learn from those mistakes and keep moving forward. But not everyone knows how. Self-compassion is the how you've been looking for. So please, give yourself a break. – From To Succeed, Forget Self-Esteem

Men might consume so much these days, because they are afraid of failure. Everyone makes mistakes while creating, but it's very hard to fail to consume.

If your friends fail to build a company, learn a new skill or beat their addiction, give them encouragement and support. Men need that now more than ever.

Don't blame feminisim

It would be easy to blame feminism for all of this. Mark Manson said it well.

Feminists were often (and still are) perceived to be “the enemy,” scapegoated for the tattered state of modern masculinity. But if you take the time and side-step past the rape culture paranoia, some of the patriarchy lunacy, and a lot of unnecessary soap-box speeches, then you get to the heart of that movement: economic and social realities forced women to confront and transcend what defined them as women, and now it is time for men to do the same thing. And right now we’re sucking at it. – Mark Manson: A New Masculinity

Men face a similar struggle as women did couple of decades ago. We should deal with it and not blame others.